After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
