it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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