I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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