is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
