I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
