i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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