Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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