So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
