This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
