Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
