if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
