I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
