suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize