i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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