I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
