I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
