He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
