how can u be prego again
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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