Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
