my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
