I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
