Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
