just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She bit a glass in half.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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