I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As shirtless as possible
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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