Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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