she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
