how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
