i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
