all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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