She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
