is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
