I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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