On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
