sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
