i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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