Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
