if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
