you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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