just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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