He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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