I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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