I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
