sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
