And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
