its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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