I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
