her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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