We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
