i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
