I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
