The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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