You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
OPIZZABONMYDICK
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
