The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
