I didn't shave. On purpose
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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