i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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