I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if only i could text you this smell
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
