So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
