I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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