I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
