I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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